Hiding Out vs Showing Up: The Masculine Skill Every Dad Needs

00:00 Showing up men. That moment where you push through the doubt, the uncomfortable feeling, the sense of being too tired or overwhelmed and you just choose to show up because that's the man you are that's the dad you are that's the commitment you made. Role theme! Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go!

00:42 Hello men, welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show. It's great to have you here! We are part of the High Value Man Project. Our mission around the world is to raise men up dads, to create the life they desire instead of one they feel stuck in so they can be the man and dad they want to be this episode we're looking at the Concept, the principle of showing up. Showing up regardless of how you're feeling about what's going on during that day about what happened to I don't know at the weekend to your missus too really anything it's the ability to show up not like showing off

01:26 Not aversion that isn't really you, just being able to show up regardless of what's going on for you and have the situation go well for you. Have you win the day because Ultimately in life that's the choice we get. Like whatever is going on, the day is going to pass there will be a minute that were in and then they'll be a minute thats gone it really irrelevant what you think about it because its gonna happen like moon follows the sun, day follows night... It's going to happen

05:21 160, this will be a 162nd episode. I'd like to think that we're constantly improving and what i did do over the weekend was I put in place some plans that I've had to make sure there's a richer variation of content coming out so the Comeback King series which we've done a couple of in the past my mind thinks too Mark Ormerod The Soldier British soldier He's a former professional bodybuilder who lost both his legs and half an arm, and is now world record holder in a whole number of endurance activities. Lee Smith who was on a couple of weeks ago

06:06 Merger and Acquisition Expert, also Iron Man in some of the Fathers for Justice activity. Again sharing his story of winning in business losing it all and rebuilding himself back up so if that resonates with you then go to one of the social posts and get yourself signed up to be on the Comeback Kings series. So putting that plan in place to overcome The little bit of doubt and wobble that was there last week. But you know, yeah I probably could have just hit publish and to hell with it because in a way that would have been my commitment my commitment did to myself this year was i'm going to publish a podcast every week so yeah You could argue that in my pursuit of looking good In my pursuit of things being perfect I missed a week

07:00 And that is one of the aspects of showing up that will kick you in the nuts really, that will derail you. That's the idea or concept of showing off like you want to look good and only going to do it if its perfect or your only gonna do it if the right outcome comes in and in that way we show a little bit of a false version of ourselves Of course, the opposite which I haven't said that maybe this is more the case is hiding out. Hiding out is where we feel confronted by a situation where we choose not to take on the commitment Okay clearly I was hiding out last week and what actually happens in place of that because it's but a bit of a reluctant, icky heavy feeling

07:53 To make that palatable, to make that something we can put up with then we will generally adopt some kind of negative habit. Some sort of feel good, make weight drinking all the good stuff right? Drinking drugs shagging probably people we shouldn't be Porn, gambling, doom scrolling, gaming for endless hours watching garbage on TV when we should be working. Basically any kind of distraction activity to hide out from that thing that we really should be doing so it's hiding out and and to be fair just a double back on the showing off thing showing off is really when you're trying to force something or showing up as a version of yourself that is intent on creating an outcome but the way of being like he's slightly off

08:43 There's something not 100% about you, right? And again that can quite often manifest itself show up as some kind of abuse of a situation like going in way too hot drinking leery The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen It is a version of hiding out. It's something that you're not comfortable with being your true self and that really is the importance of this topic today, is that showing up is doing exactly what you know there is to be done exactly what

09:42 The commitment that you made. It's the outcome that you desire to have, so if we're talking high value man and we're talking about being dad it's about how you want your kids to see you it's about how you want your relationship to go So that could be an awkward conversation, it could be adjusting work so that you're there for the sports day or the Christmas panto making sure that your wife in my situation long-term girlfriend is The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen To be told repeatedly, oh yeah sorry I can't make it something's come up. Really what you're saying is something more important than news has come up now we justify those situations by saying Oh it was busy It was urgent they couldn't do without me but if we really look at taking responsibility for that you can go back

10:43 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen I took my daughter to her youth group last night and I knew that her mum was going to be there. And if I'd thought ahead, I could have said to her in the morning Oh! I'm taking you to youth tonight make sure you've got any stuff that you want for your mums in the week because she'll be there and we can drop it off so there's like a level of planning ahead

11:27 That would have meant that my daughter had her stuff back at her mum's, that there wouldn't have been a stress point this morning. That she, my daughter wouldn't have been having to go up me about something it was completely not on me because I did actually say to her anything you want to take to use tonight that i can give your mom but the thing was I asked as we were leaving and then you can be really right well I told you last night and you didn't wanna do it but actually if I take full responsibility for that I could've asked in The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen

12:12 And then you get a bit of grace, same with your kids. You get a bit of grace for those times where things do come up, where things do not go to plan and you have to make an adjustment but you've built up enough trust credit in the bank that there's some flexibility there but again it's about what your consistent way of being is and the way that people relate to you And when people relate to you like that, you get the feel-good factor back. You get the experience of things working out for you and people having patience and time for you When it's off...when you're not showing up for those in your life when you're not showing up for your responsibilities, your commitments It will then start to occur as pressure Why are they like that to me? Why is she saying now why does I never help out? What..why is this always happening to me

13:10 The moment you start saying, why is this always happening to me or this isn't fair? Those bloody people. I promise you there is a gap there There is a breakdown where you have not been showing up in some way at some point In the near past that would have that thing worked out and gone maybe perfectly Or certainly much better Being the minor kind of man shows up Is actually freeing for yourself For yourself before and likely more than all those other people because that's the grace you buy for yourself. I shared on the Super 7 Fitness Challenge post today, because it's Monday when you listen to this but it is Monday today as I record it and I was talking again, there was a repeated message cause its so important about how you plan your week planning your week buys you back your time

14:04 When you head into Monday morning without a clue what you're up to that week, You're already burning time. Burning fuel on that five-day slot that you've got for yourself and then when you missed out on a period of that day That's when you end up working late or eating into your weekends So where men say to me I just don't have time? You do not understand! I'm like think I kind of do Things off and if it's planning your week, then we get to say well the ideal time to do that is probably Saturday mornings because Sunday regardless of whether you're into God and all that like Sunday really should be a family day. You know? And Saturday should be a day for getting stuff done stuff done for yourself

14:50 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen What I've got coming up for the kids, I can see where i'm going to have a reset conversation with my wife and what we're gonna do on Thursday night on our date night. I can see who's going to have the kids for us and when we're going to have their kids for them the week after that is showing up! And it's relaxing rather than being stressed out all the time about what you've not done or what your hiding or where you gotta show off and perform You get to be your true self and True Self is the essence of Courage from R3XC

15:37 The more you can show up as your true self, the better people will relate to you. The better you'll be able to be at peace with the man in the mirror. The more confidence and commitment you'll have around the things that are important for you to do And that is the topic of showing up It's not some weird thing you've got a go away and learn Yeah, you have to practice it if if it's not something that you've been naturally doing for awhile But I promise you This subject pretty much comes down to doing what you said you would do. It's where your integrity is in, where your completing on the tasks that people can expect of you even when they're not watching. You've got to ask yourself how on top of those things are you? Which of them are you hiding out on which of them are you showing off in

16:27 And where and to what percentage overall are you showing up? Regardless of how you're feeling, regardless of how it's going. Showing up because that's who you said you are That's what you said you would do and the more men that start to show up like that The more we'll be thriving The more will have each other's backs The more time you'll create for yourself So where are you showing up in your life list down one side of a piece of paper Like, spider off of that. What's that like? What's the positive energy around showing up in the area and on the other side right where you're not showing up where you're hiding out or showing off what's that like what's that uncomfortable feeling like and what's that leading to what are you missing out on what problems it's creating now you can see the two things clearly separated

17:21 And you can start to make an action plan of well, what would it be like on this side where I'm not showing up if i could start to put some structure and systems in place. To have that be a different way? I hope this episode has made a difference get yourself over to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash group we'll get you into the project Every member that joins, every man that joins gets a focus call where we make a clear action plan for you in an area of your life that is currently a goal or challenge for you so that we can move you forward. So you can see what it's like to live by the principles of The High Value Man System For Living

17:58 Share this episode, in fact the whole podcast with other men in your life. You can do that really easily just send them highvaluemanproject.com forward slash podcast I'll get them in and Really whatever you need we've got your back Reach out get in contact let's grow this mission around the world. I'll see you next week Thanks for tuning into The Jonnie Jensen Show be sure to subscribe leave a review and share it with fellow dads Creating the life you deserve starts with you. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go!