Can Men Really Just Be Friends With Women?

00:00 Can men really just be friends with women? Yes. I love this topic! Welcome to The Jonnie Jensen Show, where modern dads discover how to create the true riches relationships and results they deserve Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go Man hello welcome to the Jonnie Jensen Show I am the founder and head coach at The High Value Man Project and it's great to have you here on this episode of the podcast. Can men really just be friends with women? Yes! I love this topic if you are, depends on your age but seeing as we're all pretty much midlife man you will be familiar with the movie When Harry Met Sally

00:54 Immortal Conversation in the Car Ride. In fact, it goes all the way through the movie about whether men can indeed just be friends with women and we will get into that. Relationships is one of the core elements of The High Value Man Project if you...in fact you will find it as the R in the fire code for relationships not surprisingly Our relationships, yes our wife or significant other, our children obviously then our friends and family and then our mentors and network. So our relationship with women falls into most likely your wife or partner and clearly as far this conversation goes in terms of friendships now men

01:38 If you are experiencing a life that isn't quite how you want it to be, you know. You've got success probably a business owning dad or career minded man that's why we listen to this podcast watching his live video but if your experience in some level of frustration in your life like somethings working but this area is stuck then thats The Midlife Malaise that happens to so many of us and it is down to you take control of the situation. It's down to you to step up and be the man for yourself first and foremost, and then leading in those other relationships in your business. In fact everywhere in life because who you show up as determines the results that you get. Determines the experience of life that you have and waiting for everybody else let alone blaming everybody else is not going to work

02:29 So it is on you to step up and here inside the High Value Man Project, we address these matters in a way that empowers encourages. And as you look at yourself in a whole new way, in a high value way too many men walking around with the miseries and we are here to stop that right now for yourself for your children for your partner like we get what 80 odd years going round this rock? Eighty summers! Eighty Christmases Don't you owe it to yourself to have the best life possible. So, and this actually falls well into that right can you have a friendship just a friendship with women? I've had many really

03:16 Important friendships in my life, powerful friendships close friendships. Some of the best people I know on this earth are women and if i was gonna presume that I couldn't have been friends with those people then the experience of my life would be nothing like what it is and if we're talking about our children you know them growing up having a true understanding of dynamics of men and women great if you got a sister pretty much all of us can have a mom right but But if you've got a sister or your close to a cousin then yeah, you might have that female connection. But having that strong network of friends men and women we're talking about upcoming episode about male-male relationships the importance of male friendships but this is about the importance of female friendships there's a whole side of view

04:12 The reflection that comes back off of women to know who you are, how you're showing up like what some of your attitudes and ways have been like for women. And if you don't spending enough time around women let alone building those relationships but the basic level spending enough time around women and then build in those relationships and friendships then how could she possibly hope to get that feedback loop going? How could she possibly hope to have a degree of self-awareness about Let alone confidence of being around women, but a self-awareness of how you're showing up. So on those basic levels having female friends is vital for me as well just the fun that the sheer fun of being able to laugh and joke and engage with women on that level because if it's the only person you engage with on that level is your wife then its like one dimensional

05:17 The likelihood of you getting it right is literally one in a million because there's only one. So, you know, you owe it to yourself if your going to perfect this thing called life then you literally owe it to yourself so then some people would say and I was actually part of the church and I dare say this exists in other churches but It was frowned upon the idea that a married man could be friends with single woman was heavily frowned upon and you know. That would fall into the Harry met Sally realms of yeah but you always wanna banger and I just don't see that as being true like do you just ridiculous and if you can control yourself if you can control those urges,

06:15 You know then what kind of a man are you? We're talking about here high value living. Like, you can't control yourself! You can't stop yourself having these sexual urges where you want to shag every woman that you come into contact with it's just not true and I was out for lunch with my dad this week and one of his oldest friends in the world was there and she was indeed a friend of my mum's as well back in the day They were talking about a trip they made to america and my dad's 8082 now she's about 75 so.

06:57 Whether this is the norm now or maybe more of the norm back then you know everyone having a go with each other I mean back in uni days we was ratio to men and women at my uni was pretty skewed against me. And so, you know you're gonna end up dating people that your mates have dated probably before. Wife swapping or anything else like that might go on but my dad and his mate, they're like no we never have. It's never even got close to happening and so people are surprised by that oh but didn't you go out with him? Didn't you do well yeah I did but not with him he's my mate whether i go from my friends Vic from my friends Joe from my friend Tricia these are women who've been in my life

07:56 Since I was a kid, you know since literally Vic and Trish. I've known Trish since i was about nine years old. I've known Vic since I was about 12 years old. I've known Joe since we went to university and whilst don't see those people as much as I'd like to right now there was a significant moment in my life where those friendships were close they weren't intimate on a sexual level They were intimate on a friendship level in terms of trust, in terms of conversation. In terms of someone to turn to and shoulder to cry on let alone someone to get pissed with another bloody good laugh with and if you are thinking I can't be friends with women or if your relationship where she's like you cant be friends with women

08:47 Or if you're in a bloody church where they tell you can't be friends with women. For me, that's not high value at all it is completely and utterly wrong why would you miss out on half our species when you put it like that? Why would you miss out on two sides of our species male and female? Why would you miss out on the whole other half of it? And for you Being able to engage with me and being able to have fun we've been able to show up as a man who has his solid marriage or relationship significant other. And then being able to socialize and benefit from the friendships of women around you in you are a more rounded man, you are more rounded father so how do we control ourselves I mean if you got if you're

09:41 If you are sexually unable to control yourself, then it's not about whether you can be friends with women or not. You've got other issues right? Is that a problem inside of your relationship is it your connection and relationship to sex if you got porn problem like It's not about oh No I can't be friends with me and you gotta look at yourself this is always in terms of high value men where we come to is how can I look at myself what can I be responsible for Where is the change that I need And when you are able to say to yourself, this is what this is and this is what that is. And they're completely different. This is what my intimate relationship is and this is what my friendship relationship is. If if we're getting drunk or if like being out with during a tough time, you find yourself unable to not turn to that person and want to kiss them or something then you've got work to do

10:42 Because if you're, if what's at stake in your life and your children terms of your relationship. If what's at stake isn't big enough then again it's not about being friends with the woman is about your attitude to what important its about your why so how do we manage this? It's not complicated! Its as simple as if you've got female friends you know being clear to them about what this is And to be fair that doesn't even need saying sometimes. I can think of one particular friend of mine who we did kiss a couple times and it was weird, it was like kissing...I don't know never kissed my sister like that but It just felt like oh okay well were not doing that then. So maybe someone else when that happened?

11:45 Friends some of the best relationships do come from a friendship first, but just to make sure I keep this on track there two different things when you're friends with someone when you're not in a relationship. Of course stuff can happen because your not committed to somebody else but when your in that committed relationship then I just don't see personally from my experience in life I dont see where those You know, we're talking about marriage or long term relationships here. Right? But it's not a boundary that the high value man would naturally cross so as we get towards the end of this episode who are the friends you've got of the opposite sex what do they mean to when was the last time you spoke to them and with the last time you went out with them I actually suppose it is important here is what to do if your partner does have an issue with that

12:50 If your partner has an issue with your female friendships, then what you've actually got there unless you let her down in the past and then you got some work to do repair that. But unless you this if that never happened then you fundamentally got a trust issue going on in your relationship and that's what it's there to be spoken about. What's missing here? That you don't trust me! What was the experience you had with someone else leads you think I would do the same Where's where is the concern here with that the foundations of our relationship what do we need to do about those are they feeling jealous so they feel in threat and they feel it's about the time you're spending with them there the kind of responsibilities that you can take.

13:32 You have to look at the situation not just from what's like right up here really close you have to step back and take a bigger perspective on it. Is that where you realize and see where the weaknesses are in your own self and your values or whether weakness is in your significant relationship? Having her feel like you've heard her concerns, having her see from you that they don't need to be there. And it's not a one time thing or I've told you before! It's about recognising that having a healthy social life, having a circle of friends are both men and women makes you a better man and if you being a better man is good for your partner then she should be happy about that but you have to give her the confidence and trust in it so

14:24 Relationships is a vital part of the high value man process. It's the R in the fire code, making quality time for your friends having people over from dinner going out for coffee with someone like keeping those connections alive is a part of who you are and how you show up it's part of how you lead your family and remote role model for kids also reminds me there's probably a couple of people I should give a call or send a text to later today Keep in touch with your friends. Don't let friendships die sooner or later you're going to be wondering where they've all gone loneliness is a choice and the relationships with both men and in particular women are vital

15:08 I hope this has been a value to you. Come and get yourself into the High Value Man group, you simply go to jonniejensen.com forward slash group and that will get you in there it'll get you straight on to the Facebook Group And if you are ready to level up and create the life you want rather than the life you feel stuck in then get The High Value Man Blueprint by By commenting hashtag man or dropping me a message in the DMs and we will look after you. I'll see you next time, ah be sure to like and share and comment leave a review help me spread the word of all of what they were doing at High Value Man Project so that we can support men across the world and have families their children being loved and supported by the man who deserve to be let's go

15:57 Thanks for tuning in to The Jonnie Jensen Show. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with fellow dads! Creating the life you deserve starts with YOU. Get your High Value Man blueprint and join our community of motivated modern dads at highvaluemanproject.com Let's go