Deciding Enough Is Enough — Drained to Unstoppable

00:00 Welcome back to The Jonnie Jensen Show. It is great to have you here, whether you are listening for the first time or a repeat visitor listener... Great to have you here! I am driving along today, driving on. Did a walk and talk the other week now drive along when i started doing the podcast we had all sorts of different formats and i guess it was a little bit more casual as results as listeners has grown i think i've become I'm not preoccupied with making sure that it was all perfect or as good as it could be, even down to planning the content and coming up with the perfect topic. And whilst all that is good and has definitely supported the number of listens, I think there's an aspect of it where if I haven't got it set up ready to go then it makes it harder to actually record like just turn it on and go so here we are

00:58 With a nod to that, this Drained to Unstoppable series we've got lots happening inside the High Value Man Project. If you don't know anything about what we do, we support midlife dads to create the life they desire instead of one they feel stuck in really giving men the freedom power to be the man and dad they want to be first and foremost to win at home And that's not that being successful at work or in your business isn't important, but there are plenty of business programs around. I did it myself right in the midst of our relationship being a real struggle

01:39 And not just because we ultimately weren't compatible but we had financial challenges both got made redundant after our wedding, we had three miscarriages. We had ultimately two babies and I had a stepson who was you know I'm

02:23 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, highvaluemanproject.com And in reality, I didn't give the program its full attention because I had so much going on at home. So much stress and struggle going on at home. I remember one session in particular with Daniel and it was like three or four people? So it was almost a one-on-one session and I virtually broke down in the meeting. It wasn't for me kind of thing. It was just how can I juggle all this? How can I manage

03:20 And there I was in what was a business mentoring session, talking about how on earth am i going to fix this thing at home. I was terrified of losing it all. Losing it all being everything I'd built myself up to be as a measure of success – family the home and children being a dad being a husband and fearing that the expression I often use is that it felt like it was running through my fingers like sand in an hourglass so There are business programs around and that's why we don't need another one. That's why we need the high value man system for living so that men can thrive in themselves and create their relationship, the riches, the results they desire at home because anyone who has been in a challenging home situation will know what kind of pressure that puts on your work I mean it's

04:18 Jonnie Jensen, highvaluemanproject.com Jonnie Jensen, Highvaluemanproject.com And

05:27 What is now the High Band Demand System for Living? It's the application of 25, nearly 30 years now of personal development interests leadership itself growth what I've read about courses stuff that i've done and it just all came together not because I didn't know it but because I hadn't truly applied it to myself. And when I did That's what we've got here, that's what is available for you all. Now Elite 101 is what I've been doing ever since we launched always been a desire and commitment to do more events, to have the group cohorts running

06:08 And without doubt, COVID and everything didn't help that. It came right at a time where things were moving in the right direction and then you know we all know what happened there but April 28th it's Tuesday April 28 is Drain to Unstoppable it's a 90 minute live interactive event with a full Q&A and participle workshop So, it will actually run on longer than 90 minutes for those that want to stay and get more out of it. But what is the experience for you? What level of masculine energy and focus and drive would you score yourself out of 10? Do you feel like you're winning? Do you feel like you have a voice in your relationship?

07:00 The time you spend with your kids is chilled, it's fun. It's full of love. Do you feel like you see your mates? Do you feel like you recognise the man in the mirror? Because if you don't, that is the low value life. That is the drained experience I asked a guy the other day I was talking with he came through He'd got his highvalueman score which is an epic way for you to start your interest and discovery in everything we do If you go to highvaluemanproject.com forward slash score You can answer There's not less about 10 questions. Within a couple of minutes you'll get back a truly personalized response to your answers, you know what your high value man score is. You could share that in our free community and find out where other men are at the reality is that too many men are living as substandard experience and what I'm getting at is that was my journey, that was where I was

08:02 And The points at which guys start working with me are generally, one they're burnt out and exhausted. Like everything's pretty good they can't work out why they feel so bad about themselves. Two their marriage, their significant relationship is struggling

08:44 And when that's struggling, the rest of their lifestyle will normally be off. You know the classic one is guys' relationship is struggling and then when we get down into the conversations about what he gets up to it's probably unfit, it's probably drinking too much, it's probably having a cheeky line, you might even have him on the side... It's not a healthy set of attachments if it was Batman, Utility Belt. That list of things I just went through would not be helping you being a superhero but we don't realize this. We don't recognize the situation that got ourselves into. We're just trying to survive. Just trying to get through it if i could just get us through this period everything will be okay The number of guys that tell themselves that...the amount of time I told myself

09:36 From the first miscarriage through to our breakup was 2011 and the break up was in 2015. So you're talking about four years of struggle, that's not all about her I'm just saying we had four years of struggle by the time i ended up with the doctors talking about what was wrong and antidepressants... By the way if I was adamant there was nothing wrong with me Jonnie Jensen, Highvaluemanproject.com

10:33 And accepting that the path back might take a degree of responsibility was the beginning. Now, that is a foundational aspect of The High Value Man System for Living – it's recognising how you got into this situation? What choices were made along the way? How are you actually showing up What is the underlying energy, that the underlying snide feeling, comment, blame frustration present? Because it's always there. When you're a guy who's feeling completely drained who's in regular arguments with people, who's got stress at home and stress at work, who doesn't wake up excited then there has to be a level of responsibility

11:22 Even at the basic level of, this doesn't work for me I'm going to do what it takes to get myself out of here. Because most men can't accept some tough decisions that come with that. The tough decision i couldn't accept was...I could have and perhaps should have left Zooka but I couldn't see that being a good man, a good husband, a good dad, I couldn't see Jonnie Jensen, Highvaluemanproject.com I don't know what her response would have been to that. It might have been, screw you. What would other people have said? How dare you! She's not married well how dare you be like that but in a dialogue the repeat loopy trauma

12:24 That is what will take you down. If you stay stuck in a situation that's fundamentally hurting you, don't expect it to suddenly start feeling better You know Einstein said the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again hoping for different results I mean that quote gets used so often and its so bloody obvious! You dont have to be Einstein to come up with that right? I wonder if he did say, there's a famous Winston Churchill quote which apparently he never said. The one about if you're going through hell keep going or if you're going through a tough time don't start that late! Apparently never said that but yeah they are some brilliant Winston Churchill quotes so if you have a look at them not very 2026 but it's great quotes from him nonetheless

13:15 Staying in a stuck situation, staying in a situation that's fundamentally harming you but is inconsistent with the vision you've got for yourself and your life will take you down. You know? That's friction! One of the things in engineering... by the way I am not an engineer but one of the things I know there's that repetitive strain if it's a piece of mechanical Jonnie Jensen, Highvaluemanproject.com

14:05 And the friction will cause that machine to break in ways it was not expected, in ways shorter life cycles. In dramatic I'm The direction we want to be headed in, the man we know ourselves to be. The man we're setting out to become. A life that we planned and envisaged for ourselves and yet we wake up day in day out feeling like crap! Feeling that it's not going to work out and they're putting up with the day and they go into bed miserable expecting not to wake up early and enjoy another opportunity to live an incredible

15:08 Like, the likelihood is I'm going to wake up and get another day just like today. And if you're wondering how come the male suicide rate is so high? I believe it's somewhere inside of that basic reality, that basic statement-of-fact. Too many men are living a drained four or five out of ten experience putting up with rather than thriving rather than being unstoppable And whether it's in a relationship that is worth saving or whether it's rebuilding after a divorce, the amount of effort required to get yourself back on track is the same. If you put the amount of effort required to rebuild after a breakup into a marriage, the marriage would probably succeed! Or at the very least if you were putting in that amount of effort, if you were taking 100% responsibility,

16:03 The Jonnie Jensen Show, Jonnie Jensen, highvaluemanproject.com Because part of what goes on for a lot of women is disappointment, it's a sense of not being loved or appreciated. Not feeling safe and secure. A lot of good men, a lot of people suffering nice guy syndrome will say the same thing but we're not women and they're not men that's not about well macho alpha masculine it's about recognizing that we are fundamentally different creatures

16:57 Men thrive from the basis of a strong identity. Now that doesn't mean you have to be superhero, it doesn't mean you have to be like super strong and the most confident man in the room but you do have to be really really happy in your own skin really proud of what you are Because when we're not that deep to go out, when we're not that is deeply unattractive both to ourselves and those around us. The kind of magnetism a confident brown charismatic man will give off naturally creates results so that's what the high value man system for living is about it's about you being that guy and I've steered away from saying Jonnie Jensen

17:54 And just expected things to work out. No, God whoever your god is gave us these bodies and it is a miracle by the way that we are this incredible machine living on a planet that's just a speck of sand in an otherwise gigantic universe at the size scale your brain eyebrow can't even comprehend. That's a miracle! That's incredible We were given these bodies. It evolved, it was a miracle so that we could do wondrous things with them! We live on a planet that is fundamentally geared for success. Birds track seeds that they've eaten and they fall to the ground by a series of luck good fortune water sun wind other nutrients that are provided

18:40 Bird crap turns into another plant. It's like, so who are we to pursue that we exist on a planet like that? That we've got everything we need to survive and thrive and yet we're going to swander it. And yet we're going to live this 70 or 80 years in some kind of four out of 10, some kind of putting up with struggling suffering experience. It's not what was intended Weeds flourish. I mean, get your head around that! Weeds? Things are basically shit. Flourish. So when you decide enough is enough that's when things transform. When you decide i'm no longer willing to be this drained version of me, I am making a declaration. I'm going to become unstoppable. I'm gonna create a high value man life where the people around

19:33 I'm completely inspired. I want to be on board, want to be part of my mission where i'm thriving we're in the halo of me thriving they're thriving children whose dads are thriving and are loved and supported by them thrive women insecure safe happy loving relationships with a guy who shares the load who's proud of himself who works and plays in equal measure she is going to thrive She's never gonna wanna let you go. She's gonna want to hear what you have to say and if you don't believe me, have a look at what you've let go of. Have a look how many times she compromised. Have a look where you haven't shown up and then ask yourself is there any reason why she's not being more like I thought she would be? That she's not wanting

20:28 Jump my bones on a regular basis. And there's, there's a lot of caveats and layers to a lot of these subjects you know? People's health circumstances different seasons I don't just mean winter summer spring i mean different seasons in our life there are challenges it's very different having a toddler from a teenager that goes without saying but who you choose to show up as doesn't change how you choose to better move yourself forward is up to What got you this far won't get you to the next level. It's ridiculous to presume it will! You need new knowledge, new equipment, new people, new passion, new energy that's how you keep moving forward and going back to the top of today's podcast like how do I keep moving forward? What sort of adjustments do i need to have a look at where is the gap? The gap isn't trying to be perfect. The gap is in wanting to be like...

21:29 Maybe I've not been real enough and recognising that, like we're getting this podcast out every week. Last year i only missed about three weeks... This year? I've just missed the last three weeks! And there's stuff been going on, stuff that perhaps I've not really shared. I've had a extra job two days a week for the last few years. I've been spent helping out very dear old friend by putting my marketing knowledge and skills and internal cons of leadership to use for him but i haven't really spoken about it because I was like oh well that's

22:09 That's not, I can't admit that. It's weird! I had it all flipped upside down and i'm going to go into this in more detail because I'll save it for another episode but point being is rather than there be something that made sense because it did make sense it's been something like trying to juggle and so you evolve things change you move forward you adjust what you do you start to play around with different formats for the podcast you buy a microphone that's high quality and you could walk and drive with You make it happen. I used to say to my kids all the time, don't moan make it happen such an important expression like you have been what's it going to take? So I'm gonna tell you that what's it gonna take right now for you is yeah you could book a power call highvaluemanproject.com forward slash power call if we talk to me about the current goals challenges that you've got on why your only whatever your High Value Man score is right now

23:11 And we can work through the high value man system to living in a one-on-one situation. Or you can come and get involved at the other end of the spectrum on 28th April, in the next Trains To Unstoppable session 90 minutes £35, $40 on The Early Bird and start your journey! We've got you covered all levels Let's land in this summer happier stronger Faster, funnier. All the errs, the positive errs lined up for you. Joined Unstoppable? You can get yourself registered at highvaluemanproject.com forward slash unstoppable. Highvaluemanproject.com forward slash unstoppable and I would love to see you there or share this with a... Share this episode and that

24:04 I'm What the world needs us, what our kids need is for men to thrive. Thanks for listening please subscribe like share do all the business uh to make this podcast a success it deserves to be and I'll see you on next episode let's go